I wasn't totally serious yesterday. About not coming up with anything to love about homeschooling, that is. And yet I was, too. So what keeps me homeschooling, then?
The thing is, I realize -- the things I love about homeschooling aren't the mid-level things, and they don't precisely balance out with the things I hate, like black-white, either-or. They're either Big Things like having more time to spend as a family or tiny things, like seeing a child make real progress in a concept or cuddling together on a sofa with a Winnie the Pooh book.
Those are the things that are hard to remember in November, or February.... or when you hit some real bump in the road. The little things like reading to a child or having muffins together at 8 am when the school bus has taken all the other six year olds away -- those don't seem so delightful when you're worried, or bored, or worn down.
And the Big Things that got you started homeschooling become like the ground your house rests on or the fresh air outside your windows. You forget they are there. Plus, it's easy to imagine the local school as a charming place with lots of advantages, and forget the advantages to a close home life.
At least, this happens to me. Maybe it's time for me to thank God for the good ground my house rests on, and the cool autumn air we are breathing up here.
And the crackle of the fire, the humming of the teakettle, and the cell phone technology that allows my daughter, in her first year of college, to be only a button-push away.
I still have my hate list ready to hand but I realize that to retrieve my love list I will have to remind myself to go down to things as simple and essential as air and shelter and ground.